Twilight Dildo

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tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

“Updated by popular request… Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.”

The reviews are interesting.

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    13 Responses to Twilight Dildo

    1. Those reviews are fucking hilarious.

      Reply

    2. oh my god, I seriously hope that most of those reviews are people dogging on twilight twits. Because otherwise? *shudders*

      Weird ass shit.

      Reply

    3. Robyn 01/25/2010
      What I really wanted was an ice-cold penis in my needy vag, so I put it in the fridge. I put it in the fridge, and it froze to my labia for an hour. Mind you, I came like a geiser, but it was very awkward to explain to my dog.

      wut?

      Reply

    4. reviews are a must read. f’n hilarious!

      Reply

    5. Better this than them breeding, that’s what I always say.

      Of course, that’s what people say about me and the internet but screw them, you still love me don’t you?

      Reply

    6. wouldnt a vampire penis just be like, room temperature? they just have no bodyheat, right? so they’d be whatever temperature the environment they are in is.
      so actually this is a Mr. Freeze dildo.

      FROSTY!

      Reply

      • Having to admit that I know more about Twilight than I should….

        ….the vampires in Twilight are often described as being -cold- to the touch.

        Reply

        • Could that just be a reaction to the expectation of body heat? Or could it be a perceived difference of heat–touch anything at room temperature and it feels slightly cooler. If room temp is chilly enough (60 or below perhaps?) then it will indeed feel cold to the touch.

          Friction though… Friction and conduction should solve some of this frigid frolicking.

          Reply

    7. SMeyer just fails science now and forever. She thinks the vampires should be cold, because dead things are cold, right? They can sparkle in the sunlight because she’s seen sparkly things that were not entirely solid and unable to move, and they can have smooth skin and have faceted “cells” at the same time because they’re like stone!

      Either she needs to read a basic 9th grade Earth Science text, or she needs to release a statement going ‘I was wrong, okay? It’s goddamn magic! Everything works because it’s goddamn magic!’

      Magic also explains why no one has shot Edward Cullen in the face for being a horrible person or Bella Swan has not died from brain damage brought on from forgetting to breathe.

      Reply

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